"Asked Bobby Dylan..."

OK, so I am a touch bored. So naturally I want to write something here. It's about a subject that no doubt everyone who will read even this far will know at least a little about. To be blunt, there's every chance you know more than I do, but to hell with it.

I've been listening to The Beatles a lot recently. Great, weren't they?

See, I'd obviously been somewhat accustommed to them throughout my youth. I mean, they're like the most well-regarded band in the history of music, probably, so you can't really avoid them. But I'd not really listened to them 'actively' until, maybe, three or four years ago, when my mum bought a CD copy of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, an album she'd had on LP 'back in the day'. I asked if I could borrow it, as because you likely know it's often cited as the best album that's ever been recorded.

I liked it, I'm not going to say I didn't. But I didn't really see what all the fuss was about. So afterwards, I borrowed my parents' old copy of 1, essentially their greatest hits (and, incidentally, the best selling album of the decade, even though it was released in 2001). Again, same thing. Liked, didn't really love.

That would've been about three years ago. And then, a couple of weeks ago, one of their songs came on my iTunes' shuffle function. Actually, several came up (nearly) in a row. Considering I have over 1000 songs, and my Beatles collection makes up a relatively tiny portion of that, I thought it was a bit odd. Like a sign. So I started listening to 1 again.

And, yes, I can now say that I frigging love The Beatles. It's almost like a switch just activated in my head or something. I just get it. It's an undescribable feeling. The talent they had, in terms of playing ability, songwriting and general feel is just astounding.

They're also really interesting to read about. Obviously, being the biggest band ever resulted in a lot of history. Reading about their songs on Wikipedia has yeilded lots of really interesting stuff. Like the fact that they didn't want to release Yesterday (except McCartney) because Lennon, Harrison and Starr didn't think it suited their style at the time. And now it's, according to Guiness World Records, the most covered song of all time, and according to a study by the BBC it's also the best song of the 20th Century.

And that The Ballad Of John And Yoko was recorded only by Lennon and McCartney because the other two were on holiday. (Paul was on drums, bass, piano and backing vox, while John played all three guitars, lead vocals and percussion.)

And that Ringo almost missed his cue for the recording of Hey Jude because he'd nipped to the loo. Paul didn't notice and started the recording, yet Ringo made it back literally with a second to spare. Also, keeping with the same song, you can hear John Lennon shout 'Oh fucking hell!' in the background at 2:56-2:59. Obviously he messed something up. At least I presume he did.

Most of their songs are just full of this kind of texture, which a lot of other bands don't have. I think that's why they're so well respected, other than the fact that they're completely awesome.

The Good, The Bad, And The Doctor

I really really like Doctor Who. Might as well just jump right to the point, but I do.

I never saw any of the old episodes before they brought it back a few years ago with Christopher Eccleston as the lead. And, to be honest, I've only seen a couple of the classic ones since then. But New Who? Every episode mate. And I've got a slightly scary amount of knowledge about all the episodes.

Anyway, the point. Why? Frankly, I don't know. I really don't. The majority of the plots are paper thin, at any given moment the only decent character is the Doctor himself, and showrunner Russell T. Davies has a remarkable obsession with Billie Piper's character. That I hope will disappear from the Doctor's character forever come next year.

But it's amazing.

Some of the episodes, I'll grant you, are a bit...well...shit. But none of them are unwatchable, they're just good clean fun.

I love the fact, too, that it's pretty much the UK's only 'legitimate' TV show. That sounds a bit odd. But you know how a lot of people have a habit of downloading, say, the latest episode of Lost as soon as it airs in the US? Well, to my knowledge, Doctor Who is basically the only modern show where the same thing happens but in reverse. I find that mind-boggling.

Anyway, I really only started this blog as an excuse to write a review of this weekend's Easter special.

It was great, basically. Everything worked. The plot was great, though a bit of an amalgamation of loads of traditional sci-fi plots (wormholes, fly-like aliens...a flying bus...). The one-off characters were pretty cool. I liked Michelle Ryan as Christina, which came out of the left field a bit, considering she used to be in Eastenders of all things. (And Bionic Woman, but let's not mention that.) The psychic lady set things up for the next couple of episodes, and possibly Steven Moffat's reign as head writer, very nicely. And of course there was Lee Evans, playing to type as the hilarious Welsh nutter. Good stuff.

I'd actually go so far as to say it's in my top three of New Who episodes. (For the record, Utopia is my favourite. Followed by The Stolen Earth for that ridicuously brilliant plot twist alone. And all of Steven Moffat's episodes. Wait, that's like a top 7 now. Umm...) I can't wait for The Waters Of Mars, the next special, now, even though it's apparantly not going to air until November. Which is a stupidly long wait.

And then there's another two before David Tennant leaves. Then I will cry. Then I'll be happy because Moffat'll be the head writer. And I'll be indifferent towards Matt Smith for one or two episodes at least.

I'll shut up now. New Who is one of those things I could talk (probably out of my arse) about all night. But I won't. Until November.

Rse

And now, as Monty Python would no doubt say, for something completely different. Something that has been bugging me immensely for the last...OK, since this afternoon. But play along. Please.

This is going to sound mad.

It's the letter R.

Yep.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's a nice letter. Gives a lovely rough sound to words. And, hell, I wouldn't be able to spell my surname without it. Shane Ynhat doesn't sound quite as catchy. No, what I have an objection to, or at least an annoying niggle about, is that it sounds exactly like the verb 'are'.

See, it sounds like a stupid thing to get annoyed by. But I hate it so much. It's so damned confusing, when you think about it. Language should be conclusive. No, that's wrong. I'll try and sum up at the end, this is getting me nowhere.

Anyway, R. Now, I was walking past a budget store in town today. Outside was a sign. I can't remember the exact wording, but it was along these lines, so I think you'll get the gist.

"WE 'R' THE BEST"

...

What?!

OK, so you're using the letter 'R' as a replacement for 'are'. I get that. But why shove inverted commas around it? It's either:

a) To show that they've contracted are, in which case the inverted commas are in fact apostropes. At least this shows a (debatably) good grasp of the English language.

b) To show that they're trying to be witty, implying that they know it's a bad spelling and that they're doing it for a joke. You should, hence, probably be laughing. All the way into the shop, presumably.

c) They genuinely can't spell.

Now, my problem with a) is that they might as well have just put the 'a' and the 'e' on either side of it. 'R' has the same amount of characters as ARE, so it's not going to help with your Twitter updates. And there was plenty of space left on the sign, so that's no excuse.

My problem with b) is that it is quite clearly not witty. Toys 'R' Us have been doing it for the last two decades at least. Probably longer. And even they have the same fucking problem.

So what's the point?!

There isn't one, is there?!?!?!?!

Look, there's nothing wrong with 'are'. I know all the 'kids' are doing it, with their funky text messaging, 1337 speaking and all the rest of it. But you are a respectable shop on a busy high street. I at least expect you to use correct grammar. Or, failing that, a full page poster explaining your intentions. Or a letter to everyone in town by way of warning.

Sorry, this is sounding like an open letter to the manager of said store via The Times now, isn't it? Oh well. Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier:

When sentences are ambiguous, that's fine. It's fun. The double entendre is based around that very principle. But words? Letters?! That's just ridiculous.

Just say 'are', yeah? It'd just make things so much better. It might even solve world hunger, stop the war in Iraq and generally make modern society get along a lot better.

Can't make an Omegle...

So I've discovered Omegle, and I've been plugging it somewhat relentlessly for the last 48 hours. Basically, it's a website that connects you to a random stranger, who could be anywhere in the world, and just lets you chat with them. It's a ridiculously simple idea, but it's amazing.

In the last two days alone, I've spoken to three people in Brazil, four in America, countless numbers of Finns and, um, Dutchies(?) (I have no idea what the plural term for a Dutch person is. Oh well!), several Polish people, someone in Canada and probably plenty of others that I've overlooked.

The vast majority of the people that I've paired with have been really really nice (even though I hate that word, it adequately describes them), and I've been able to have a decent, civilised conversation. Which, when you think about it, is completely ridiculous. The Internet is a crap pot, filled for the most part with the scum of the Earth, with all their contracted sentences, bizarre cults and LOLcats. And you'd think that'd only be aplified by not having a single clue who the hell you're talking to.

But no. As long as you get someone who's sane, which is more often than you'd think, and you begin with some small talk about where they live and how old they are, you can have a proper conversation with anyone in the world. I find that so exciting.

It's basically, finally, come back to what the Internet was partially set up to do: connect people in a global village. Albeit now, everyone likes to think of it as Web 2.0. Even though it's about as far away from that as you can get.

Anyway, I'm babbling a bit. I've learnt so much these past couple of days about so many different cultures all around the world. Did you know, for instance, that blueberries are prohibitively expensive in Brazil? Or that the Finnish Prime Minister is currently involved in a scandal about sending texts to erotic dancers? Or that the capital city of Brazil, Brasilia, was designed in the shape of a plane? It's incredible! How on Earth would I have found all this out without Omegle?

It's amazing. A piece of simple genius. I'm a tad worried that it might become a victim of its own success though: more visitors will undoubtedly mean more trolls, spouting random drivel about cakes, porn and Rick Astley. But as long as there's still a couple of genuinely fascinating people to talk to, I'll be perfectly happy!