Gamers' Voice - full post.

A quick note - this post was written for the Wall of the Gamers' Voice group on Facebook. It was too big, though. So it's presented here in its entirety.

I don't think some of the people posting here are actually doing much good, to be honest. Let's get real, for a minute.

I love games and gaming culture, I have done since I was about 4 (I'm 20 now) thanks to the SNES and a copy of Street Fighter II Turbo. But even I think that games can be harmful to certain people, just in the same way as something like A Clockwork Orange (one of my favourite films, by the way) or even The Matrix caused a few people to fly off the handle. Rock and Roll music was blamed for a good many crimes in the 50s and 60s. Gothic Horror novels of the 19th Century were seen as pornography in this country for a while. Moral panics about entertainment are nothing new - games are not alone in criticism.

For the record, I do think that age-restrictions on gaming is a good thing. I'm not going to lie and say that I never played a violent game before I was 18 - I did, and I'm sure that many many others have and will continue to do so. But there's always the chance that there's going to be some negative effects to at least one or two people. There just is.

A politician, I think it was Tessa Jowell, but I'm not 100% certain, said something along the lines of 'If you wouldn't let your kids watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you shouldn't let them play 18+ games.' I really don't think there's any better way of putting it than that. Don't get me wrong, all this nonsense over Modern Warfare 2 is ridiculous - if it was a film rated 18+, nobody would bat an eyelid. The problem is that games are interactive, and there's no getting around that obviously. Parents really shouldn't worry - if they are, then their kids shouldn't be playing the damn thing in the first place.

Anyhow, I feel I'm being too negative. There's a great *great* deal of positive benefits that gaming can provide. I know at least two or three people who have gotten over deep-rooted depression thanks to the escapism gaming gives us. It let them get on with their lives and become better members of society than they could have possibly been without. And off the top of my head, gaming improves hand-eye co-ordination, has some links to improving mental fitness (and I'm not just talking about Brain Training, here), it has great dramatic potential, and so so many more.

Gaming is a good thing, but you can't just blindly say stuff like 'I'm 13, and I played Modern Warfare, did nothing to me.' That's only reinforcing the views of Mr. Vaz et al. I have no doubt that he, and other anti-violence in games critics (for let's not forget, he is *not* anti-games on the whole, he simply objects to minors possibly having access to violent material in games) have good intentions. But this group should be more about *proving* how and why games can offer so much more to the people of the UK.

Home Box Office, In Case You Were Wondering

Has anyone else noticed how awesome HBO is?

It's one of the things that makes me want to live in America. Even for a brief time. Because if everything on HBO is as decent as the goods I've sampled, then hell, I'll be in heaven!

Case in point - people who've seen either/both of The Sopranos and The Wire usually proclaim one or the other the greatest show ever made. Both are made by HBO.

Other great shows crafted by their (presumably) loving embrace - Six Feet Under, Band of Brothers, Flight of the Conchords, Rome, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sex and the City [*vomits*], and my current favourite, True Blood.

Ah, True Blood. I've waited an entire year for this show to finally air in the UK, and now that it has, I can appreciate how awesome it is. I'm only four episodes into the series, but it's undeniably brilliant.

Firstly, it has arguably the best opening sequence ever. Great song, some crazy-ass images, and, possibly best of all, the words 'Created by Alan Ball'. Alan Ball, ladies and gentleman, is the fucked-up individual who gave the world Six Feet Under, the strangest, and yet strangely awesome, series you're ever likely to see. The strangeness he brought to that clearly shows in True Blood.

- Lots of sex. Very graphic sex. This is the reason I, absolutely genuinely, have to wait for my nan to go to bed before I can watch either SFU or TB. The Sopranos was pretty graphic too, come to think of it, but it's in most episodes of, seemingly, any show with 'Created by Alan Ball' stamped on it.

- Fucked up characters. In both SFU and TB, there's basically only one or two regular cast member who could be happily classed as 'sane'. And in TB, one of those is a vampire and the other's frigging telepathic. That's hardly normal.

- Surreal humour. For instance. In the pilot of SFU, the show is often interrupted by fake ads for funeral services. So you'll have ladies dancing around in skimpy clothes advertising...embalming fluid. There's not quite so much in TB, but one stand out (up?) moment comes when Sookie's brother drinks too much vampire blood and has to have blood drained from his penis - which has been erect all day. Yep.

I could probably go on, but I won't.

Anyway, back to the point. HBO makes all these cracking programmes, stuff that, frankly, the UK channels can't even attempt to compete with. Life on Mars, as much as I love it and as close as it gets to being brilliant, just isn't in the same league. Doctor Who as well has a similar issue. We need some decent drama in this country that isn't just a simple 'whodunnit' or a standard police drama, as is the norm. Admittedly, stuff like The Bill has recently been very good indeed, but I dare you to find one person who reckons it's better than The Wire, or even CSI for crying out loud. And most of the best stuff the BBC puts out is co-produced by HBO anyway!

End of my rage. Guess there's not a lot I can do about it, eh? But as long as HBO and the humble DVD exists, I don't think I'll ever need to watch 'proper' TV again.

Lighting the Torch

I'm about to make a big claim, but one that's not unfounded.

Torchwood: Children of Earth, the 5-part 3rd season of the Doctor Who spin-off, is the best thing that's been on television this year (so far).

See? Told you it was quite a big claim.

I seriously believe it though. As I have said on this blog before, Doctor Who is unashamedly one of my favourite TV shows. Even when it's bad, it's usually still got a sparkle of something. But Torchwood this week was better than Who's been lately, undoubtedly.

I'm not 100% sure why, though, but I can take a stab.

Probably the biggest reason is the emotion in it, the sheer 'ohmygod' of it. Torchwood, unlike Who, has never pulled its punches when it comes to threatening major characters. In just three years, only a couple of major characters remain, the rest having been killed off. To put that in perspective, Who, in its entire 50-odd year runtime, has killed off one character permanently. Excluding The Doctor himself, of course, who's died nine times. But he doesn't count.

Children Of Earth, in particular, had a lot of danger, both for the characters and the (in-series) world at large. Usually, whenever there's something Earth threatening, the Doctor just shows up and sorts it out with a wave of his Sonic Screwdriver. Not so here. Torchwood was more or less destroyed at the start of the arc, meaning they barely had access to computers most of the time. Going into the last episode, I had no idea how they were going to wrap it up.

The ending, as it goes, was masterful as well. Captain Jack has finally stopped being, well, a bit rubbish, and jumped up to 'anti-Doctor' levels of awesomeness. Well, awesomeness is perhaps a bit too strong, but the comparison's still there. I'll not spoil the ending, just in case, but what Jack did to save the world I don't think The Doctor could have done.

Emotion came thick and fast too. Pretty much the only emotion we've been getting in Who recently has been The Doctor going all 'I'm never ever ever having another companion again (until next series)' and 'Oh Rose, how I miss thee!' Every. Single. Episode. Torchwood, in the death of Ianto, seriously nearly brought a tear to my eye. It was very well done indeed.

The structure of CoE really can't be overlooked either. The 'event' format worked brilliantly well, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Who trying to replicate it in the future (although, given the earlier broadcast of it, it would probably be tricky for the BBC to schedule). I'd be incredibly surprised if Torchwood doesn't try and do it again next year. CoE will take some beating though.

Finally, though, what really sets Torchwood apart from every other show this year is the simple fact that it's lived up to its promise. It's a proper adult science fiction drama set in the same world as Doctor Who. Before now, it's been, frankly, more childish than Who. What with all it's sex-based storylines, needless swearing and too many flashes of John Barrowman's arse for the average human to take. But now, now, it feels right. Maybe it's the format, maybe it's the lower number of characters, maybe it's the less Cardiff-centric locationing, I don't know. All I know is, he's called the Stig. No, wait, that's not right. I mean it's been the best thing on telly this year, easily the best British thing at least. Long may it continue!

'Billie Gene' [sic]

I doubt that I'm the only person who's going to write about it, but I haven't seen anyone else do it in this way. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened, obviously. Argh, blabbering.

Anyway.

I'm going to blog about Michael Jackson.

Well, I'm not really. I'm going to blog about the media furore that has exploded the Internet over the last 24 hours (or so). It has literally broken everything.

I've quite frankly never seen anything like it. You can't escape from it. Pretty much every site on the Internet has been 'touched' in some way. The more obvious ones are things like Twitter and Facebook. Twitter had to break out the good ol' whale on numerous occasions, poor thing, while the trending topics list was 9/10ths full of MJ-related posts.

Facebook was similar, but didn't buckle. Most status updates I got from friends were about him too. About an hour after it happened, I typed 'RIP Michael Jackson' into the search bar on Facebook and, lo and behold, about 10 (at least) pages of memorial groups and pages sprung up. Fast work, eh?

The news sites seemed to cope quite well, surprisingly, although there are a lot of them. The BBC, for instance, was fine. I was watching the live News 24 feed for about half an hour and there wasn't even a jot of lag. So, um, not much to say there :S

Jokes started trickling very soon, as per usual. I use the term 'joke' loosely, by the way. Most stemming from 4chan, the crap-pot of the web. Oddly enough, even that was down for the majority of the night (although I only went on for literally about 10 seconds to check reports of it's downtime), presumably under hundreds of pictures of 'pedobear' being uploaded.

Anyway, then I went to bed. I couldn't believe what I found when I woke up. The traditional media were causing such a shit-storm I couldn't believe it. Not entirely unexpected, it must be said, but it appears, quite seriously, that nothing else of any significance has happened in the world these past 24 hours. Somewhat luckily, the event happened so late that most of the newspapers must've gone to print beforehand. Of all the ones I saw, only The Sun ran the story on the front page. There could have been more I guess, but I wasn't outside for long. Ahem.

Back on the Internet, (oh God, that sounds like a comic book panel header. 'Meanwhile, in another part of town...) Jackson's albums filled up the top 15 of Amazon's top sellers. All 15 places! I really couldn't get my head around that. I didn't even know he'd released 15 albums, to be frank. iTunes was a little more 'business as usual' this morning, with only his greatest hits occupying the top 10. Not so now. Nine albums out of ten. Honestly, the top ten, come Sunday night, is going to be broken.

And sites that have nothing to do with music have been covering the news. Like Kotaku. Kotaku, if you don't know, is a very highly regarded (and downright awesome, it must be said) gaming blog. Now, MJ's contribution to the world of videogames essentially boils down to a Moonwalker-based Mega Drive game (how the hell that ever got made I'll never know) and a rumoured contribution to the soundtrack of Sonic The Hedgehog 3. And yet 3 posts in the last 24 hours have been about MJ, in one way or another. It's a bit ridiculous.

But, at the centre of all this, we can't forget that a human being has died. Think what you like about him and his personal life, but there's no denying the fact that he contributed to a lot of peoples' lives and left an undisputable mark on the music industry that will last a lifetime. And, in death, he may well have just had a lasting impact on the new media industry as well. RIP.

Generic Title Here

E3 was held last week. You know what that is. Probably. If you don't, it's basically the world's biggest (or at least one of the biggest) video and computer gaming convention. Essentially, it's for the companies to show off their latest products with a splash of dick measuring thrown in for good measure.

Now, every single blog on the Internet has done a post about E3. Somewhat understandably. I felt like doing one too, but I thought that would be surplus to requirements. Not least because I'm, ahem, a week late. 

But unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything original.

D'oh.

So instead, here's a few things that I loved and what I hated about E3 '09

LOVED:

Microsoft. In general. Their press conference was really interesting and showed off a lot of reasons to be excited. Project Natal is the biggest, of course. If it works, it'll be amazing, if it doesn't, it'll just be an EyeToy, like what Sony made about half a decade ago, like. So not that good. Personally, though, as a massive Rock Band fan and a liker of The Beatles, my favourite announcement was The Beatles: Rock Band. Well, reveal, I suppose, given that everyone's known about it for months. It does look amazingly good though, and I can't wait to spend tons of money to pretend to be George Harrison.

Golden Sun 3. I'm not the world's greatest fan of JRPGs, but the two Golden Sun games on the GBA were damned good. Hopefully the new one can replicate the success.

HATED:

Nintendo. And Sony, actually. This makes me sound like a Microsoft fanboy. Believe me, I'm not. I own all three of this generation's consoles and play them all a fair bit. And God knows I was something of a Nintendo fanboy 'back in the day', actually. But seriously guys? Boring conferences. Nintendo's was an improvement over last year's, but a chimp playing the bongos could have been an improvement. Actually, they should make a new Donkey Konga just so they can pull off that publicity stunt. And even then, they'd still be flogging a dead horse. Mario Galaxy is over-rated, they still put far too much influence on Mario as a rule of thumb...they just seem stuck in a rut. Admittedly a rut that's making them a metric fuckton of cash though. Sony's was...OK but nothing special. PSP Go is big, I guess, and arguably could be more crucial to the future of gaming than Natal. I mean, if it pays off it could lead the way for an entirely digitally distributed future. But if it doesn't, we might have discs around for a while yet. Everything else was crummy, except for impressive demoes of MAG and Uncharted 2.

Everything Else. In general, I thought it was a really bad show this year. It's good that it's still around, and no doubt I'll be very excited when it comes round again next year but...I can't help but think the companies might be better doing an Apple, and announcing stuff at various times around the year. I know to an extent they do that already, but to a greater degree. I dunno. 

So that's it. I'll maybe try and be more original next year!

The Clash

Y'know what's been annoying me lately?

TV.

In general.

It's not because there's nothing good on though. It's the fact that there's too much good stuff on. AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm assuming that you know how the US TV Seasons system works. Oh alright then, here's a re-cap. The stations in the US pretty much all start their shows in September sometime. Then they usually run until about mid-November when, for some reason that seems to defy logic, the shows go on a 'mid-season break' and vanish until January or February. When they return, after the mid-season, not only do the previously-started shows start to wrap up, but other shows start, which usually only last about 12 or 13 weeks, with a couple of exceptions. Well, I say only, but you know what I mean.

Now, in the UK, we used to get shows months after the US. Hell, in some cases we still do. Dexter, the best TV show of all time, at least for me, is currently a whole year behind the American air date in the UK. Season 4 is starting there soon (well, September I presume) and we're only a couple of episodes into S3 currently.

But anyway, recently, mostly thanks to Sky, it must be said, we've been getting the shows only a few days behind the American airdates. Which is great. I'm not complaining. Unfortunately, the UK TV system seems to have it in it's collective psyche that one American show must compete against another.

Which is why you have, on a Sunday night, Lost clashing with Supernatural clashing with Fringe. Until a week ago, on Mondays we had Heroes clashing with 24 (incidentally also clashing with Ashes to Ashes, which has gotten much better since I ripped it to shreds last year, but is British so I'm excluding it. Oh, and Law & Order UK. That shared the timeslot too). And we always used to have Heroes clashing with Prison Break as well. When it was still good. Oh, sorry, when they were still good.

Thank God Dollhouse has only just reared its head over here, or else it would've been in the uncomfortable position of clashing with Battlestar Galactica. As much as I love Joss Whedon, he wouldn't have stood a chance in that battle.

There's more! Dexter's new time of 10pm Friday clashes with 'new' (2 year old) episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. I don't think The Mentalist on Thursday nights clashes with anything, mind. Except it's the only time I get to watch DVDs. But I guess that doesn't really count, does it?

So yeah, you see my dilemma. I love all of the series I've mentioned immensely, but it's getting to the point of being ridiculous now. This week's going to be a nightmare too, thanks to Britain's Got Talent being on every single bloody night. And yes, I do watch it, and enjoy it. I am not ashamed to admit it.

You know what's worse? Sky +, that genius device that lets you record things that clash. As I say, it's genius. But you can only have 2 things recording at once: one you're watching and one you're not. So had Mondays been completely stuffed with Heroes, Ashes to Ashes, 24 and Law & Order UK then we'd have been screwed. There is, of course, also repeats, but that opens up a whole new can of worms, with even more clashes, if that's possible.

And drawing it back, this is mostly thanks to the American TV system. If they didn't shove all their shows on at the same time, this predicament would go away, as we'd have quality programming through the year. Oh, and Heroes.

Cutting Brains

Two very nice things happened today.

I finally saw Star Trek first of all. Very very awesome it is too. Without a doubt the best sci-fi I've seen in ages (and I'm including the most recent season of BSG in that too), and one of the best films in general I've seen for ages. Everything seemed nigh-on perfect.

Possibly the best 15 opening minutes of any film ever to kick us off. The casting was superb, all the way through. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Zachary Quinto, and he didn't disappoint as Spock. Although he probably could have done with a bit more brain cutting.

(That's a Heroes reference, in case you don't know. And yes, before you ask, I am more than a tad pissed off that Sylar's essentially been killed off and Hiro looks like he's heading that way too. Wayta wipe out the best two characters in the show, guys...)

Simon Pegg surprised me. I mean, I love to guy, don't get me wrong, but I never thought he'd be able to pull of Scotty. And he did. Very very successfully. Chris Pine did Kirk very nicely too. Ultimately the film lived or died by the connection Kirk and Spock shared, which they thankfully got spot on.

So overall, great film. Do see it if you've not already. One of those films that's always going to be best on the big screen rather than at home. Even, probably, on Blu Ray with 7.1 surround sound.

Number 2: Green Day's new album, 21st Century Breakdown.

I'm an unashamed fan of Green Day thanks to American Idiot, which I rank as one of my favourite albums. Certainly my most played. 21st Century Breakdown follows a pretty similar structure: it's a rock opera, although I'm stuggling to fully get the plot at the moment. Having said that, I never even realised AI was a concept album at first, so I'm a bit slow with that kind of thing...

The new album's a little more chilled out than some of their previous stuff. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of heavy repeated riffs and shouty lyrics, but a lot of the songs start off sounding a bit like Queen, actually. No worse off for it though: if you're going to emulate a band, you might as well copy the best!

That's about all I have to say tonight really. Take care, and see Star Trek :D

Apple Orgies...

Sorry, I've let this blog go slack again. Damned Uni. Oh well, whatever!

Speaking of which, however, I'm currently doing a research project on Lost, as in the second most popular TV series in the entire world. Yeah, it's dead interesting both from a media studies point of view and a creative writing one. It also happens to be a damn fine TV show.

What I'm looking into though is the online community around it. I embedded myself in http://www.4815162342.com for a bit, and spread a survey around. It's probably the biggest forum I've ever been on, over 100,000 registered users, the majority of which seem to be at least semi-active. And all they do is talk Lost. Character links, plotlines, mythology (the forum, for the uninitiated, is named after the Numbers that crop up here there and everywhere and either have big mystical powers or...don't), tiny little bits that you'd probably never pick up on and lots more.

I genuinely don't think that the show would've been as popular twenty years ago, largely thanks to the web. I'm not going to go any further into that, I've got a 3000 word essay to do on it, so yeah.

Just thought I'd keep this place active and keep myself busy before I go to bed.

"Asked Bobby Dylan..."

OK, so I am a touch bored. So naturally I want to write something here. It's about a subject that no doubt everyone who will read even this far will know at least a little about. To be blunt, there's every chance you know more than I do, but to hell with it.

I've been listening to The Beatles a lot recently. Great, weren't they?

See, I'd obviously been somewhat accustommed to them throughout my youth. I mean, they're like the most well-regarded band in the history of music, probably, so you can't really avoid them. But I'd not really listened to them 'actively' until, maybe, three or four years ago, when my mum bought a CD copy of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, an album she'd had on LP 'back in the day'. I asked if I could borrow it, as because you likely know it's often cited as the best album that's ever been recorded.

I liked it, I'm not going to say I didn't. But I didn't really see what all the fuss was about. So afterwards, I borrowed my parents' old copy of 1, essentially their greatest hits (and, incidentally, the best selling album of the decade, even though it was released in 2001). Again, same thing. Liked, didn't really love.

That would've been about three years ago. And then, a couple of weeks ago, one of their songs came on my iTunes' shuffle function. Actually, several came up (nearly) in a row. Considering I have over 1000 songs, and my Beatles collection makes up a relatively tiny portion of that, I thought it was a bit odd. Like a sign. So I started listening to 1 again.

And, yes, I can now say that I frigging love The Beatles. It's almost like a switch just activated in my head or something. I just get it. It's an undescribable feeling. The talent they had, in terms of playing ability, songwriting and general feel is just astounding.

They're also really interesting to read about. Obviously, being the biggest band ever resulted in a lot of history. Reading about their songs on Wikipedia has yeilded lots of really interesting stuff. Like the fact that they didn't want to release Yesterday (except McCartney) because Lennon, Harrison and Starr didn't think it suited their style at the time. And now it's, according to Guiness World Records, the most covered song of all time, and according to a study by the BBC it's also the best song of the 20th Century.

And that The Ballad Of John And Yoko was recorded only by Lennon and McCartney because the other two were on holiday. (Paul was on drums, bass, piano and backing vox, while John played all three guitars, lead vocals and percussion.)

And that Ringo almost missed his cue for the recording of Hey Jude because he'd nipped to the loo. Paul didn't notice and started the recording, yet Ringo made it back literally with a second to spare. Also, keeping with the same song, you can hear John Lennon shout 'Oh fucking hell!' in the background at 2:56-2:59. Obviously he messed something up. At least I presume he did.

Most of their songs are just full of this kind of texture, which a lot of other bands don't have. I think that's why they're so well respected, other than the fact that they're completely awesome.

The Good, The Bad, And The Doctor

I really really like Doctor Who. Might as well just jump right to the point, but I do.

I never saw any of the old episodes before they brought it back a few years ago with Christopher Eccleston as the lead. And, to be honest, I've only seen a couple of the classic ones since then. But New Who? Every episode mate. And I've got a slightly scary amount of knowledge about all the episodes.

Anyway, the point. Why? Frankly, I don't know. I really don't. The majority of the plots are paper thin, at any given moment the only decent character is the Doctor himself, and showrunner Russell T. Davies has a remarkable obsession with Billie Piper's character. That I hope will disappear from the Doctor's character forever come next year.

But it's amazing.

Some of the episodes, I'll grant you, are a bit...well...shit. But none of them are unwatchable, they're just good clean fun.

I love the fact, too, that it's pretty much the UK's only 'legitimate' TV show. That sounds a bit odd. But you know how a lot of people have a habit of downloading, say, the latest episode of Lost as soon as it airs in the US? Well, to my knowledge, Doctor Who is basically the only modern show where the same thing happens but in reverse. I find that mind-boggling.

Anyway, I really only started this blog as an excuse to write a review of this weekend's Easter special.

It was great, basically. Everything worked. The plot was great, though a bit of an amalgamation of loads of traditional sci-fi plots (wormholes, fly-like aliens...a flying bus...). The one-off characters were pretty cool. I liked Michelle Ryan as Christina, which came out of the left field a bit, considering she used to be in Eastenders of all things. (And Bionic Woman, but let's not mention that.) The psychic lady set things up for the next couple of episodes, and possibly Steven Moffat's reign as head writer, very nicely. And of course there was Lee Evans, playing to type as the hilarious Welsh nutter. Good stuff.

I'd actually go so far as to say it's in my top three of New Who episodes. (For the record, Utopia is my favourite. Followed by The Stolen Earth for that ridicuously brilliant plot twist alone. And all of Steven Moffat's episodes. Wait, that's like a top 7 now. Umm...) I can't wait for The Waters Of Mars, the next special, now, even though it's apparantly not going to air until November. Which is a stupidly long wait.

And then there's another two before David Tennant leaves. Then I will cry. Then I'll be happy because Moffat'll be the head writer. And I'll be indifferent towards Matt Smith for one or two episodes at least.

I'll shut up now. New Who is one of those things I could talk (probably out of my arse) about all night. But I won't. Until November.

Rse

And now, as Monty Python would no doubt say, for something completely different. Something that has been bugging me immensely for the last...OK, since this afternoon. But play along. Please.

This is going to sound mad.

It's the letter R.

Yep.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's a nice letter. Gives a lovely rough sound to words. And, hell, I wouldn't be able to spell my surname without it. Shane Ynhat doesn't sound quite as catchy. No, what I have an objection to, or at least an annoying niggle about, is that it sounds exactly like the verb 'are'.

See, it sounds like a stupid thing to get annoyed by. But I hate it so much. It's so damned confusing, when you think about it. Language should be conclusive. No, that's wrong. I'll try and sum up at the end, this is getting me nowhere.

Anyway, R. Now, I was walking past a budget store in town today. Outside was a sign. I can't remember the exact wording, but it was along these lines, so I think you'll get the gist.

"WE 'R' THE BEST"

...

What?!

OK, so you're using the letter 'R' as a replacement for 'are'. I get that. But why shove inverted commas around it? It's either:

a) To show that they've contracted are, in which case the inverted commas are in fact apostropes. At least this shows a (debatably) good grasp of the English language.

b) To show that they're trying to be witty, implying that they know it's a bad spelling and that they're doing it for a joke. You should, hence, probably be laughing. All the way into the shop, presumably.

c) They genuinely can't spell.

Now, my problem with a) is that they might as well have just put the 'a' and the 'e' on either side of it. 'R' has the same amount of characters as ARE, so it's not going to help with your Twitter updates. And there was plenty of space left on the sign, so that's no excuse.

My problem with b) is that it is quite clearly not witty. Toys 'R' Us have been doing it for the last two decades at least. Probably longer. And even they have the same fucking problem.

So what's the point?!

There isn't one, is there?!?!?!?!

Look, there's nothing wrong with 'are'. I know all the 'kids' are doing it, with their funky text messaging, 1337 speaking and all the rest of it. But you are a respectable shop on a busy high street. I at least expect you to use correct grammar. Or, failing that, a full page poster explaining your intentions. Or a letter to everyone in town by way of warning.

Sorry, this is sounding like an open letter to the manager of said store via The Times now, isn't it? Oh well. Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier:

When sentences are ambiguous, that's fine. It's fun. The double entendre is based around that very principle. But words? Letters?! That's just ridiculous.

Just say 'are', yeah? It'd just make things so much better. It might even solve world hunger, stop the war in Iraq and generally make modern society get along a lot better.

Can't make an Omegle...

So I've discovered Omegle, and I've been plugging it somewhat relentlessly for the last 48 hours. Basically, it's a website that connects you to a random stranger, who could be anywhere in the world, and just lets you chat with them. It's a ridiculously simple idea, but it's amazing.

In the last two days alone, I've spoken to three people in Brazil, four in America, countless numbers of Finns and, um, Dutchies(?) (I have no idea what the plural term for a Dutch person is. Oh well!), several Polish people, someone in Canada and probably plenty of others that I've overlooked.

The vast majority of the people that I've paired with have been really really nice (even though I hate that word, it adequately describes them), and I've been able to have a decent, civilised conversation. Which, when you think about it, is completely ridiculous. The Internet is a crap pot, filled for the most part with the scum of the Earth, with all their contracted sentences, bizarre cults and LOLcats. And you'd think that'd only be aplified by not having a single clue who the hell you're talking to.

But no. As long as you get someone who's sane, which is more often than you'd think, and you begin with some small talk about where they live and how old they are, you can have a proper conversation with anyone in the world. I find that so exciting.

It's basically, finally, come back to what the Internet was partially set up to do: connect people in a global village. Albeit now, everyone likes to think of it as Web 2.0. Even though it's about as far away from that as you can get.

Anyway, I'm babbling a bit. I've learnt so much these past couple of days about so many different cultures all around the world. Did you know, for instance, that blueberries are prohibitively expensive in Brazil? Or that the Finnish Prime Minister is currently involved in a scandal about sending texts to erotic dancers? Or that the capital city of Brazil, Brasilia, was designed in the shape of a plane? It's incredible! How on Earth would I have found all this out without Omegle?

It's amazing. A piece of simple genius. I'm a tad worried that it might become a victim of its own success though: more visitors will undoubtedly mean more trolls, spouting random drivel about cakes, porn and Rick Astley. But as long as there's still a couple of genuinely fascinating people to talk to, I'll be perfectly happy!

So Say We All!

Oh Lord, it's been a while again hasn't it? And after I promised myself I'd keep up to date as well. Silly me.

Anyway, advanced warning: in this post I'm gonna be talking about my reactions to the finalé of Battlestar Galactica. If you haven't seen it but do intend to see it at some point DO NOT READ IT! Spoilers ahoy.

Point of no return right here.

OK?

I loved it. Overall. Battlestar Galactica is (was?) one of my favourite programmes. I'm not going to spout off about its genius here, but suffice to say that it's probably the most intelligent science fiction programme ever created. And if you've paid heed to my warnings, then you should already know this, because you'll have watched it yourself. So I'll not babble.

Anyway, I did have one problem with Daybreak Part 2 and 3. After the crew found Earth (our Earth, I should say), it all got a bit preachy. I know the mantra 'All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again' has been spouted pretty much since the start. That's fine. But seriously?

Half the time, the dialogue seemed to be built around 'Oh woe is us, technology has been our downfall and it shall be yours too' or words to that effect. Especially when Lee was walking with his father along the plains of Africa just after they'd landed. It kinda ruined it a little for me. And it really was just a little. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. The show, as a whole got the ending it deserved. And at least it finished completely closed (what with it being 150,000 years in the past and all) so there won't be any stupid cash-in continuations. (Apart, of course, from the spin off called Caprica, which I can live with, and one more TV movie from the Cylons' perspective. That too I can live with. Any more is pushing it a little though.)

Anyway, one thing that a lot of people seem to have a problem with is the seemingly random turn for the spiritual. Y'know, with it turning out to be all part of God's grand plan for humanity. (Although "It doesn't like to be called that," apparantly.) I suppose it's always been there under the surface, but I can sort of see why revealing Head Six and Head Baltar (and Starbuck The Second) as Angels has got some peoples' backs up.

I'm fine with it though. I mean, it's a bit of fantasy in an otherwise hardcore sci-fi programme, but it served to wrap things up nicely enough, as well as conveniently explaining away several plotholes. Also loved how All Along The Watchtower was far more instrumental (no pun intended) in the whole series.

All in all, I think it worked really bloody well. I could have done without Lee et al explaining why we're all going to die in the near future, but hey ho. Bottom line is this: if Lost ends anywhere near as well then I'll be perfectly happy. You've gotta appreciate BSG for what it is anyway: not everyone was ever going to like the ending no matter what happened. It was still a great show, and deserves to be remembered as such.

Inferno

I talked very briefly in my last post, the one about Rock Band, Guitar Hero and music in general, rather than the song played at funerals, about Coheed & Cambria. I basically said that they were one of my favourite bands, if not my single favourite band. I thought I'd talk about why briefly, because I think it's very interesting. Well, of course I do.

Now, C&C (henceforth abbreviated because I cannot be arsed to type out their full name a hundred times) are, on the surface, just a regular rock outfit. But if you take the time to dig a little deeper, you discover something a lot more interesting than simply music.

To date, C&C have released four albums (listed at the bottom). Now, each of these albums is what you might call a concept album. You probably know what that is, but just in case, it basically means an album structured around some...thing. Green Day based American Idiot around a story of a boy leaving home and going to a city. My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade featured songs entirely made up of death. Jethro Tull's Thick As A Brick was, essentially, one 45 minute song.

S0 C&C make concept albums. Fair enough right? Nothing too unusual? Well, not quite. Y'see, C&C also happen to be a concept band.

All four of their albums to date are a chunk of an overarching science fiction story. Kind of like how Star Wars is split into six films, or Lord of the Rings into three books, C&C apply the same concept to music. And it's absolutely brilliant.

Now, I'm not saying that it's the best story in the world. Far from it, in fact. But what it is is a decent story told in a unique way. Basically (and I'm being incredibly basic here, as the whole thing is a bit mind boggling, truth be told), it's about a boy, who's parents were created as, essentially, supersoldiers. His parents were called, can you guess?, Coheed and Cambria. At the beginning of the story, they find out that they're infected with a disease that's going to wipe out the universe (somehow) and they've passed on a more deadly, incurable, version of the disease to their children. So they murder them. All except for Claudio, our protagonist, who manages to get away. And it kind of spirals from there, really.

Obviously, though, lyrics aren't the best way to get a story across. Especially when it's so detailed (seriously, I haven't even come within a mile of the surface there, let alone scratch it). So the band, or more specifically lead songwriter/guitarist/awesome-hair-weilder Claudio Sanchez (who obviously has a pretty big ego to name the central character after himself) are releasing a comic book which does the story a little more justice. So far only the first volume, which covers the first four tracks off the band's debut album, has been released in the UK, and it's ridiculously hard to get hold of individual copies over here as it's published independently. It's a shame.

I suggest listening to a few of the band's tracks. The brilliant thing is that the music is, in my opinion obviously, so good to go along with the lyrics that it doesn't matter where you start. Just dip your toes in the water. The thing I like about them musically is that they cover a hell of a lot of genres between the various albums too, so there should be something that you can enjoy.

This is normally the point where I'd say something like 'Oh, I wish more bands would try something like this too, boo hoo', I'm, not going to. I think that C&C are perfect being unique (or at least relatively). At the end of the day, the story doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. They are still a band after all. I just think it's pretty interestin' is all.

Here's C&C discography in chronological (and narrative) order, in case you're a completist and I've tempted you to listen to the whole thing in order (you should, although I highly recommend the middle two albums above the ends in terms of quality).

The Second Stage Turbine Blade

In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth:3

Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV Volume One: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness

Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV Volume Two: No World For Tomorrow

No World For Tomorrow actually completes the story, but if you've got half a brain, you'll notice that all the albums are slyly numbered, with the first volume missing. Yup, they've done a Star Wars, and their next album will likely be the very beginning of the saga. After that? Who knows.

And now I promise that I'll never talk about them again. Until they next release an album ;-)

'SAVING THROW!'

I don't listen to a huge amount of music. Never have done. Don't get me wrong, I love music as much as the next man or woman, but when it comes to dscovering new music, I'm useless. I never listen to the radio (like, ever), I don't watch the music channels on TV, hell, I don't bother roaming MySpace in search of the Next Big Thing.

In short, most of the music I listen to is either old or by an artist I know I already like. Second/third album onwards, if you know what I mean. And, y'know, in general, that's fine.

(can you feel the 'but' coming on?)

BUT:

(there it is)

It is no secret that I am an unashamed fan of the video games Rock Band, Guitar Hero and their now numerous sequels and downloadable tracks. Hell, since this time last year, I must've spent, ooh, approaching 400 quid on instruments, games, songs and more. Seriously. Sad, eh?

I enjoy them as games. Obviously. They're unbelieviably good fun, especially with the recent full-band editions that have been released in the last year. With mates and (at least a little, though not for me) alcohol, there's quite literally nothing better. The fun factor is extremely high, and that's why these titles are so popular.

(another 'but' is coming right up)

But, it's not the only reason I play. Yes, you've probably made the connection now yourself. Well done. Have a gold star. No, wait, a bronze one. Got it? OK then.

I use RB and GH as, pretty much, my primary source of hearing new or unfamiliar music. Now, not all of it is necessarily new. For instance, Rock Band 2 recently introduced me to Jethro Tull, a band which have been around for longer than I have. The same goes for Rush. Boston. All these classic rock bands from the 70s that I had never even heard of before I played these games.

And, of course, more recent stuff. Guitar Hero aquainted me with Silversun Pickups, a pretty decent American indie band. The same game put me in touch with Paramore. And Rock Band introduced me to Coheed and Cambria, who to be honest, are probably my favourite band at the moment. (As an aside, please do sample some of their music on iTunes. You won't regret it.)

Hell, both games, steadily over the past few years, have introduced me to Prog Rock as a genre. An entire genre.

Record companies are starting to understand, too. It's been scientifically proven (with pie charts and everything) that bands featured in these games have seen their record sales increase. And I'm not talking a couple more sales here. I mean lots.

Basically, I think I'm saying that music is on the cusp of a new era. Radio listener-ship is constantly in decline, and if bands want to get their music heard by the widest possible audience, they've got to embrace this new technology. It's not enough, for me and, I'll bet, countless others, just to listen to music any more. We want to feel like we're making it. Even if, y'know, we are just matching colours on screen to certain finger positioning. All power to the consumer, and all that.

Not Going Out, or, The Steady Decline Of The British Sitcom

Wow, that's a mouthful of a title. I think it sums things up pretty well though.

The UK used to be king of the sitcom. Back in the 80s and 90s, you couldn't watch TV without bumping into Only Fools and Horses, Blackadder, Red Dwarf and countless other greats. Whatever you liked to laugh at, there was something for you.

But, for some bizarre reason, we now have barely any sitcoms at all, let alone good ones. Why?

I don't know, really. Maybe we've all become moody bastards since the turn of the millenium. Maybe all the decent writers have swanned off to America, sticking their middle fingers up and shouting that our fathers smell of elderberries.

Let me give you an example. Only Fools and Horses is pretty much considered to be the best sitcom that the UK's ever produced. (I would, though, claim that that's Red Dwarf but that's another story!) Its writer, John Sullivan, officially finished the series about 10 years ago. Since then, there've been three specials, which essentially ruined the ending and ran the story into the ground. They were funny enough, but they didn't need to exist at all. So, rightly, in 2003/2004, Sullivan ended it, kaput, said 'no more, ever'.

Out of a job, he decided that he needed to do something with his talents. So he created (or, should I say, excreted) The Green Green Grass. In time honoured tradition, he 'rote the feem toon, sang the feem toon' and recycled the most annoying characters from OFAH, Boycie and his wife Marlene, and shoved them on a farm. It was like a cruel social experiment on the British public to see how much canned laughter and sheep 'jokes' they could take.

It is, crucially, not funny. At all. The only reason it's called a comedy is because people are meant to laugh. Somehow, this has managed to get the show recommissioned not once, but twice, and a Christmas special.

Another shitcom: After You've Gone. This has even less of an excuse, given that it's got Nicholas Lyndhurst, he of OFAH and Goodnight Sweetheart fame, in it. But, nope, it's terrible. It shamelessly rips off from My Family (which has been going down the pan almost from the beginning), to the extent that they have almost literally ripped off every single character, situation and joke.

So why is all this happening? What the hell happened? I think My Family was a big part of it actually. Seemed to be a turning point. That show is written in a very American way, with a large round-table group of writers throwing ideas into the pot. Or onto the whiteboard, more likely. But anyway, never has the expression 'too many cooks spoil the broth' been more apt. When it started, My Family was actually pretty funny. Mostly thanks to Kris Marshall, it has to be said. But still. It was popular. And so, shows started tryin to copy it. This is exactly what happened to The Green Green Grass, when it shoved a load of characters onto a farm and watched to see what would happen. It's kinda clever in a way, but it's been done to death now.

There is one show that might just be a new light, though.

Not Going Out, which has also just returned for a third run. If you've never seen it, it's the most generic plot you could ever design for a sitcom: man lodges with his best friend's sister, who he hates. Hilarity ensues. It's written by, and stars, Lee Mack, who I believe is one of the funniest comedians around at the moment.

Cruicially, NGO is actually very funny indeed, despite this generic plot. I think a lot of it is because it uses old-style sitcom joke structures, like overblown analogies a la Blackadder, but brings them up to date. And the fact that it's really well acted, with deadpan delivery all around. The characters are great, and surprisingly ungeneric. One of the more important elements though is that it has cut its roster of characters down to just 4, plus guests. Whereas modern sitcoms have 5 or 6+ main players, by cutting it down NGO can just focus on being as tightly knit as possible. It just, generally, ticks all the boxes.

I think I've banged on about this too much now. But in short, I think that the British sitcom really does need a kick up the backside. We used to rule the world of comedy, and now we're merely on a par. That sounds a bit xenophobic actually but you know what I mean. Right? Hopefully Not Going Out will shine a light down our dark tunnel, but equally I hope its not shamelessy ripped off by all and sundry. Which will happen eventually, I'm sure.

It's been too long...

Nearly a year, in fact. I do have an excuse, admittedly. I chatted on here a little bit before about Operation: Sleeper Cell. That's where most of my energy from last year went into, and this blog suffered a bit as a result. Well, a lot. But O:SC is history, now, so I thought I might as well post back here a bit more. Hope you'll not mind.

So. Much has happened in the media this past year. TV, Radio, Film, Games, everything has moved on quite a bit. I'm not going to talk about them all. I don't want to be sat here all night, after all. I'll chat about a couple of things that I've been digging (not necessarily Digg-ing, though) these past few of days/weeks. 

TV! As usual, British TV has been teh shit recently. Actually, that's probably a touch unfair. Hustle's pretty good. Sorry Hustle. And QI. Sorry Stephen Fry. Everything else, though, is terrible. I'm not even generalising, I mean literally everything. So instead I've been getting even more into my American dramas, which seem to have given a dose of the awesomes this season. The new season of 24 is looking like the kick in the backside that the show needs, Lost is...Lost, Battlestar Galactica is getting more twisty-turny, Supernatural is shaping up well and I could go on and on but I'm not going to. 

Radio! That Jonathan Ross, eh? What a bloke ;-)

Film! Some crackers out recently. Even the films that should by rights be awful, like Role Models, have turned out pretty well. I desperately want to see Slumdog Millionaire, but can't get anyone to go with me. And Benjamin Button looks pretty good too, but I think there's still a couple more weeks before that arrives. Oh! And I missed out on writing about The Dark Knight last year, which I, like most everyone else, it seems, was completely obsessed with for a couple of weeks. New Star Trek film out soon too, with Sylar starring as Spock. So that could be quite good.

Games! Last year was a great time for games. I'm still playing through most of the games released at the tail end of last year. Everyone seemed to love Fallout 3, but I didn't really enjoy it as much as I thought I might've. LittleBigPlanet is absolutely fabutanlistic (woo for neologisms!). I haven't stopped playing Rock Band (+2) since it came out. Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts showed that Rare have still got it. Mirror's Edge wasn't as good as it should've been. And then there was GTA IV, which a lot of people seem to be having second thoughts about, but I still thought was great. And for people lamenting the lack of 'fun' in IV, there's always Saints Row 2, which is hilarious, both in- and un-intentionally. No, I messed that up, didn't I. in-intentionally...you know what I mean.

There are of course plenty of other things. There's always other things. I didn't mention any books because I've barely read any 'new' books. Seriously, the last book I read was Dracula, that's how far behind the times I am! I might bring up the odd one now and then, though. Likewise I haven't mentioned the Internet. There's thousands of sites I could have talked about, but haven't. There's just too many. Again, I will try and keep more up to date in future from now on.

So! That's it for now. I shall write back soon. Promise! If not then I'll...eat my own elbow. Or something. Yup.